If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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