You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
