Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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