i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
