I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
