So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just want to make out with him forever
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
