Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
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he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
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Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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