his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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