the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
