You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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