we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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