I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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