i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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