His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
