I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
