my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
