At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
