I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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