do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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