if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
