It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
