walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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