i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
