Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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