Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
