I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize