so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize