We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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