Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
