We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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