I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I believe in your delicious
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
