Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
