If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
