Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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