There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
