Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
We need to rekindle our bromance
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize