There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
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