he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
