bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
