wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
