you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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