weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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