great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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