Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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