Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
