Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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