I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
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I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
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I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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