I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
