Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
