but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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