No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
