He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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