Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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