I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
