Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
