just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
