Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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