At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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