there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
