I can tuck mytits in my pants
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
