Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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