EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
