i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40s are totally the cure
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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